The Seed

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  1. Winston-Salem, N.C. 04.17.09 World Press International Michael J. McPhillips, Ed. and Svc. corps Grand Rapids, MI; Dover, DE; Minneapolis, MN; Constance, KY and scores of other US cities were host today to mass rallies of cheering JPK-ers who gathered to celebrate the publication of J.P.K. for Idiots by Bertinal Press, LTD. The wild abandon soon swept away most sanity from the crowds who began chanting "Joey, Joey, he's our man. If Joey can't do it, no one can." There was, however, no sign of the legendary and revered Joey Leguay of Angola, DE. "The JPK movement is back in full force in the world today," shouted a topless Diane Reese, co-sponsor of the Dover rally. "The Secondary Alternate Realm is real!!!" Thousands joined to give praise to John Palifox Key, still presumed to be living in France, and copies of his 1961 volume Proofs of My Return were exchanged for thousands of dollars apiece. Even the flablungent Fat Juanita made a brief appearance and addressed a vibrant and clapping audience near the ferry landing in Constance, Kentucky, where a lesser known "portal" has long been hidden. Sweating and panting, Fat Juanita proclaimed a "new era" in JPK research and vowed to lead "as many expeditions as are needed into the Secondary Realm." She ended her speech with reference to her Korean counterpart, the actress Myong-Kim Park Lee, who plays the ravishing Paula Denail in the Korean screen version of the JPK saga. "We are here for change!!" shouted Terrence Donan of Schraft's International Modeling Agency of Hightower, NY. "Only change can change us and make us change the way we change," screamed Donan in a slightly high-pitched voice, strained no doubt by the emotion of the event. "So there!" he concluded forcefully. "So there!" The parties rang out into the afternoon and spilled out into the early evening. "The book has never really lost its timeless appeal," exclaimed an unidentified celebrant. "Key discovered the bridges into a parallel dimension, and few have had the courage to follow his lead and go there themselves. We are here to change all that." A music and dance event followed after each rally [truncation...]