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Devon

Devon's first December story now online

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Scroogle had two links to Jabari the Magician aside from the one to PWR. One takes you to Booksie where there is a link to Scribd, which is an utter waste of time. After waiting many minutes for advertising links and images to load, I was treated to a blank box which refused to scroll or navigate in any way. The other link to Booksie loads the story beginning with Part Two which begins in midflight aboard the lurching Duckwing 480. Upon completion of reading, I found a link in the sidebar that took me to Part One, which was printed in significantly larger type with the same errors in double partially rendered lines found in the original King of Crackland posting at Inkpop. Part One ends with paragraphs repeated in Part Two. Reading the two parts out of sequence does little to detract from the flow of the narrative as Part One does little more than serve as a bridging device between The King of Crackland and the last episode of the Nikki and Trey series. Anyone who had read both previously could easily infer most of Part One from reading Part Two. The problem with Scribd may be due to my particular outdated operating system but it is a site I generally avoid for the reasons stated above.

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Scroogle had two links to Jabari the Magician aside from the one here to PWR. One takes you to Booksie where there is a link to Scribd, which is an utter waste of time. After waiting many minutes for advertising links and images to load, I was treated to a blank box which refused to scroll or navigate in any way. The other link to Booksie load the story beginning with Part Two which begins in midflight aboard the lurching Duckwing 480. Upon completion of reading, I found a link in the sidebar which took me to Part One, which was printed in significantly larger type with the same errors in double partially rendered lines which were found in the King of Crackland posted at Inkpop. Part One ends with paragraphs repeated in Part Two. Reading the two parts out of sequence does little to detract from the flow of the narrative as Part One does little more than serve as a bridging device between The King of Crackland and the last episode of the Nikki and Trey series. Anyone who had read both previously could easily infer most of Part One from reading Part Two. The problem with Scribd may be due to my particular outdated operating system but it is a site I generally avoid for the reasons stated above.

Scribd has gone downhill lately. Try fictionpress.com.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2870555/1/Ja...ey_in_Crackland

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As a relative newcomer to the works of Devon Pitlor, which I download and read on kindle, I express my profound appreciation for the reviews by his longtime readers above me.

It is a tribute to Devon that fan-type readers want to know more about his characters and their lifestories. That is a mark of a true fiction master. Devon consistently leaves a lot of avenues open for future exploration, and I as the others sincerely hope that he will elaborate on these in future episodes. He is able to explode his stories with fascinating personalities that we just naturally want to find out more about. I would guess that he knows this and that it contributes a lot to the Devon mystique in fantasy fiction. Again all positive, but details are lacking that avid readers, as I have become, want to know more.

I saw on scribt today that someone mentioned that Devon readers might miss a lot of the irony and truth in the first episode of this story, to wit: how Nikki ended up in jail. That alone is a magnificent tale!! I have read all the Trey stories, and I know just how much they both loathe the police. Imagine someone going to jail for not "owning up" to being a hero!! This first episode, Nikki's arrest, really caught my attention. I harbor similar feelings about the press and police. Maybe that is just me.

I loved the transition to Crackland by a "Santa's sleigh" as the airplane was disguised. Pure genius.

Also the angle of skateboarding. Devon has used many of the main terms connected with tricks and maneuvers in this sport. Very compelling. He either skateboards or has done his research.

Further there is the boy attraction attributed to the King. At one point Devon uses the term "twink" which is a word connected with young and sometimes feminine boys who perform gay hustling acts. There is a whole undercurrent of "sexy skateboarders" here which is very valid, and I don't want to get into the reason why.

Crackland does remain largely unexplained, as does Jabari and John Crack. It is not enough, IMO, to call Crack a "swashbuckler." So much more is needed to round out his character. And the first person narration does prevent a lot of this. I second whoever it was who says that a mirror image account is needed by Nikki. Maybe she just likes weak men. Trey has become her chronicler rather than her equal. That was also mentioned today sometime by a comment on scridb.

In all, it is a vastly compelling continuation of the first Crackland tale and invites a much larger panorama of details about this place. Subterranean worlds have always fascinated me. I used to want to write about them too, but I do not have DP's skill. But Devon once responded to a post of mine (following a display of really great excerpts) that he was not interested in anything but short stories. That is a shame. Crackland and its various personalities deserves a much longer work, and I'm sure Devon could carry this off. I wish he would.

Like others, I desire more details, and about a lot of different things as well. That is a strength rather than a failing on D's part. He is always leaving unexplored channels to pick up later. All we can hope is that he does.

Finally, I always wanted to write fantasy or at least scifi. Devon totally intimidates me at this stage. His ability to create fanciful worlds is beyond compare, and very intimidating.

I loved the story, but as with the others, I came away wanting more.

Fan

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Well, what is there to add?

The Devon strikes again with a story that captivates even the critics.

In truth, I am really getting sick of seeing Devon here with the plebes. He is at the level of real excellence. Why does he bother with this place?

An extraordinary and awesome story, and one that should be published and not in these crappy on line storytelling for teenagers places. But I suppose he doesn't care. It does not dawn on him that his fiction is superlative. So many great writers were like this.

Let him die amidst the mediocrity. That seems to be what he wants anyway. But he could have been great.

Pity.

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THIS IS JUST CRANKING UP, ISN'T IT? THE DEVON IS GONNA GET A THREAD THAT LAST 20 PAGES.

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THIS IS JUST CRANKING UP, ISN'T IT? THE DEVON IS GONNA GET A THREAD THAT LAST 20 PAGES.

Yes>>>bc the devon brings something new and original to this forum and that is rare.

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Well, what is there to add?

The Devon strikes again with a story that captivates even the critics.

In truth, I am really getting sick of seeing Devon here with the plebes. He is at the level of real excellence. Why does he bother with this place?

An extraordinary and awesome story, and one that should be published and not in these crappy on line storytelling for teenagers places. But I suppose he doesn't care. It does not dawn on him that his fiction is superlative. So many great writers were like this.

Let him die amidst the mediocrity. That seems to be what he wants anyway. But he could have been great.

Pity.

He is great. Should we measure his work based on where he choses to publish? Would the stories read any better if they were in a real book as opposed to on a computer screen?

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Also the angle of skateboarding. Devon has used many of the main terms connected with tricks and maneuvers in this sport. Very compelling. He either skateboards or has done his research.

Further there is the boy attraction attributed to the King. At one point Devon uses the term "twink" which is a word connected with young and sometimes feminine boys who perform gay hustling acts. There is a whole undercurrent of "sexy skateboarders" here which is very valid, and I don't want to get into the reason why.

The Devon knows a lot of things about a lot of things.

And some of those things are surprising.

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Well, what is there to add?

The Devon strikes again with a story that captivates even the critics.

In truth, I am really getting sick of seeing Devon here with the plebes. He is at the level of real excellence. Why does he bother with this place?

An extraordinary and awesome story, and one that should be published and not in these crappy on line storytelling for teenagers places. But I suppose he doesn't care. It does not dawn on him that his fiction is superlative. So many great writers were like this.

Let him die amidst the mediocrity. That seems to be what he wants anyway. But he could have been great.

Pity.

He is great. Should we measure his work based on where he choses to publish? Would the stories read any better if they were in a real book as opposed to on a computer screen?

Not sure. He has awesome talent. He should go somewhere big. But I do not know how to do that these days.

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Well, what is there to add?

The Devon strikes again with a story that captivates even the critics.

In truth, I am really getting sick of seeing Devon here with the plebes. He is at the level of real excellence. Why does he bother with this place?

An extraordinary and awesome story, and one that should be published and not in these crappy on line storytelling for teenagers places. But I suppose he doesn't care. It does not dawn on him that his fiction is superlative. So many great writers were like this.

Let him die amidst the mediocrity. That seems to be what he wants anyway. But he could have been great.

Pity.

He is great. Should we measure his work based on where he choses to publish? Would the stories read any better if they were in a real book as opposed to on a computer screen?

Not sure. He has awesome talent. He should go somewhere big. But I do not know how to do that these days.

If it's meant to happen, it will happen.

Look on the bright side - we get to read his stuff for free, as soon as it is released, and even have some limited access to the author for questions and such. If he ever hit it really big, all that would vanish.

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Also the angle of skateboarding. Devon has used many of the main terms connected with tricks and maneuvers in this sport. Very compelling. He either skateboards or has done his research.

Further there is the boy attraction attributed to the King. At one point Devon uses the term "twink" which is a word connected with young and sometimes feminine boys who perform gay hustling acts. There is a whole undercurrent of "sexy skateboarders" here which is very valid, and I don't want to get into the reason why.

The Devon knows a lot of things about a lot of things.

And some of those things are surprising.

YES!

And he learned a lot of them right here online. Do I need to say that I know Devon. The IP address will speak for itself, and there are those here who thive on that. Etc.

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He exists because of his fan coworkers. The day shift loves Devon. So the IPA is not an issue.

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This last Crackland story is exceptional. Held my interest.

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Also the angle of skateboarding. Devon has used many of the main terms connected with tricks and maneuvers in this sport. Very compelling. He either skateboards or has done his research.

Further there is the boy attraction attributed to the King. At one point Devon uses the term "twink" which is a word connected with young and sometimes feminine boys who perform gay hustling acts. There is a whole undercurrent of "sexy skateboarders" here which is very valid, and I don't want to get into the reason why.

The Devon knows a lot of things about a lot of things.

And some of those things are surprising.

YES!

And he learned a lot of them right here online. Do I need to say that I know Devon. The IP address will speak for itself, and there are those here who thive on that. Etc.

I don't doubt that. You can learn some pretty amazing things online these days. Writers these days have an incredible advantage over their counterparts in previous generations when it comes to things like researching characters' backgrounds, etc.

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In a world of boring people----and you are----devon is never boring.

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In a world of boring people----and you are----devon is never boring.

Are you?

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MY FAVOURITE PART IS TREY NAKED IN A CAGE AND BEING EXAMINED.

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MY FAVOURITE PART IS TREY NAKED IN A CAGE AND BEING EXAMINED.

This story confirms what I have long suspected, that Trey is both good-looking and well-endowed.

Perhaps that is why Nikki keeps him around, as he doesn't seem to bring much more to the table.

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The devon ppl are gathering, will this thread go fity pages?

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The devon ppl are gathering, will this thread go fity pages?

What did you think of the story?

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