Hello Forum Readers
:)
"Mr. Bumbleman”, you are a grouchy pants.” his wife would say, walking by the computer on her way into the kitchen, as Mr. Bumbleman would slam down his palm hard on the desk, with a “slap!” whenever he would go into this one particular posting board.
Mr. Bumbleman could be heard late into the night, cursing at the computer screen and slapping his hand on the desk and yelling “what the hell do you know you horse’s excuse for an ass.” Which made Mrs. Bumbleman, snicker under her blanket whenever she heard Mr. Bumbleman get his metaphors twisted. In fact, Mrs. Bumbleman was the direct opposite of her grouchy pants husband. She was always laughing and making funny faces behind his back when she passed him in one of his rants over the latest post.
Sometimes she could hardly contain a smile flickering across her face when he started plotting his move against the idiot who was wrecking the world this week.
“Now, dear,” she would say, patting his hand. “This too shall pass.”
One day while Mr. Bumbleman was visiting the proctologist for his yearly exam, Mrs Bumbleman logged onto the same forum posting board her husband frequented.
She knew his code and so took his avatar. As far as everyone knew, Mr. Bumbleman was his usual grumpy, mean spirited self.
But in reality, it was his sweet, as sweet butter of a wife, Mrs. Bumbleman who was behind the keyboard.
You had to love Mrs. Bumbleman, she wanted to give everyone cookies and a band-aid and fix their knee, kiss it and make the world better. Mrs. Bumbleman began at the top of page one and began answering every post under the screen name of her husband “Pit Bull” who had the face of a snarling Pit Bull on the body of a robot.
Mrs Bumbleman, gave love advice, explained how to read palms, gave her famous granola cookie recipe and told a sex pervert his mother would be ashamed of him, all under the name of Pit Bull. The Pit Bull was famous for undercutting someone’s confidence and using their weaknesses to make himself look better. Many times his comments were nothing but a snarl.
Mrs. Bumbleman was not snarling however, she was done with page two and was now on to page three, telling stories of her Irish heritage that had even the most hard hearted crying big tears in their baileys cream.
A thread was begun about how Pit Bull has had a vision and was now blessed with second site and was channeling the spirit of Mother Teresa. Mrs. Bumbleman laughed so hard she nearly fell out of the chair as the door slammed behind her husband, limping into the room, just as she got off the computer smiling and giving him a kiss and a look of compassion for his ordeal.
Mr. Bumbleman slowly sat down on a pillow, wincing, and turned on the screen and logged into his favorite posting board. His pain in the rear was totally forgotten as he saw two threads talking about him. One was a “Pit Bull” appreciation thread, and one was a thread about how God has used Pit Bull to help them find courage to laugh at adversity.
Mr. Bumbleman, has no idea that he had been impersonated all morning, by his smiling wife, who raised her eyebrows, everytime, she walked by the screen.
“What happened to grouchy pants?” she said. She was referring to him not having slammed the desk or called anyone a horse’s excuse for an ass once. He had a calm serene look on his face, rather placid and thoughtful. He even smiled at her and this made her beam.
Mr. Bumblman was reading post after post telling him how wonderful he was and thoughtful and how much he was appreciated, and then sometime amazing happened. A single tear trickled down Mr. Bumbleman’s nose and ran down his face. He never even tried to wipe it away and neither did his wife, who stood with a few tears of her own. Evidently no one outside of Mrs. Bumbleman, had ever told Mr. Bumbleman he was loved, cared for or appreciated. To see this written in sincerity by strangers on a posting board had made him realize something on a deep level. How good it felt to hear good things about oneself.
He felt so good about himself, he began to want to just like all those people thought he was. He began to reply to posts, and to pour his heart out to strangers and some of them were nice and opened up to him, and some made fun as they always do. Mr. Bumbleman didn’t get angry once nor slam down his hand on the desk or type anything nasty or demeaning. He instead gave good advice, plain friendly talk and told some to get in touch with their feminine side.
Tree
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Another Tree Hugger Tale
Started by Tree Hugger, Jul 19 2005 02:09 AM
3 replies to this topic
