START YOUR NEW YEAR IN THE BRAVE NEW WORLD ORDER OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH
SOMEONE IN IRELAND IS AFRAID OF LOSING THEIR POWERFUL CLUTCH ON THE THROATS OF FREE SPEECH SUPPPORTERS EVERYWHERE
ESPECIALLY WHEN ALL THE SECRETS OF THEIR DEPRAVED PEDOPHILE SECRETS ARE SPILLING OUT OF THE CLOSETS
BECAUSE ONCE NATIONAL IRISH BANK GOES COMPLETELY DIGITAL CASHLESS IN 18 MONTHS
ITS GOING TO BE VERY HARD TO DEPOSIT "A DIGITAL OFFERING" IN THEIR FUCKING COLLECTION PLATES AND BASKETS COME SUNDAY
Ireland Bans Blasphemy
January 1, 2010
Atheist Ireland Publishes 25 Blasphemous Quotes
Filed under: Atheist Ireland, Campaign, Freedom of Speech, Is this Blasphemy?, Quotes — Michael Nugent @ 12:33 am
From today, 1 January 2010, the new Irish blasphemy law becomes operational, and we begin our campaign to have it repealed. Blasphemy is now a crime punishable by a €25,000 fine. The new law defines blasphemy as publishing or uttering matter that is grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby intentionally causing outrage among a substantial number of adherents of that religion, with some defences permitted.
This new law is both silly and dangerous. It is silly because medieval religious laws have no place in a modern secular republic, where the criminal law should protect people and not ideas. And it is dangerous because it incentives religious outrage, and because Islamic States led by Pakistan are already using the wording of this Irish law to promote new blasphemy laws at UN level.
We believe in the golden rule: that we have a right to be treated justly, and that we have a responsibility to treat other people justly. Blasphemy laws are unjust: they silence people in order to protect ideas. In a civilised society, people have a right to to express and to hear ideas about religion even if other people find those ideas to be outrageous.
Publication of 25 blasphemous quotes
In this context we now publish a list of 25 blasphemous quotes, which have previously been published by or uttered by or attributed to Jesus Christ, Muhammad, Mark Twain, Tom Lehrer, Randy Newman, James Kirkup, Monty Python, Rev Ian Paisley, Conor Cruise O’Brien, Frank Zappa, Salman Rushdie, Bjork, Amanda Donohoe, George Carlin, Paul Woodfull, Jerry Springer the Opera, Tim Minchin, Richard Dawkins, Pope Benedict XVI, Christopher Hitchens, PZ Myers, Ian O’Doherty, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor and Dermot Ahern.
Despite these quotes being abusive and insulting in relation to matters held sacred by various religions, we unreservedly support the right of these people to have published or uttered them, and we unreservedly support the right of any Irish citizen to make comparable statements about matters held sacred by any religion without fear of being criminalised, and without having to prove to a court that a reasonable person would find any particular value in the statement.
Campaign begins to repeal the Irish blasphemy law
We ask Fianna Fail and the Green Party to repeal their anachronistic blasphemy law, as part of the revision of the Defamation Act that is included within the Act. We ask them to hold a referendum to remove the reference to blasphemy from the Irish Constitution.
We also ask all TDs and Senators to support a referendum to remove references to God from the Irish Constitution, including the clauses that prevent atheists from being appointed as President of Ireland or as a Judge without swearing a religious oath asking God to direct them in their work.
If you run a website, blog or other media publication, please feel free to republish this statement and the list of quotes yourself, in order to show your support for the campaign to repeal the Irish blasphemy law and to promote a rational, ethical, secular Ireland.
0
FIRST FORMAL MEETING OF IRISH BLASPHEMERS CLUB
Started by *FUCK THE POPE~, Jan 01 2010 03:08 PM
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This topic is locked
921 replies to this topic
#2 *FUCK THE POPE~
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- Guest
Posted 01 January 2010 - 03:21 PM
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER THEN
FUCK THE POPE AND HIS RABID CLOSETED FAGGOT HIERARCHY THAT WON'T LET WOMEN BE ORDAINED OR DIVORCED CATHOLICS REMARRY IN THEIR OH SO SACRED AND UNVIOLATED SANCTUARIES OR FOR THEIR PRIESTS TO HAVE WIVES
FUCK FOOTBALL AND DOGFIGHTING FOOTBALL PLAYER RAPISTS. ALL GODDAMN DAY TODAY
FUCK TEXAS. ALL OF IT
FUCK HOLLYWOOD, GET OVER YOURSELVES
AND MOST OF ALL FUCK THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND THEIR SATANIC BIOCHIP IMPLANTS
SOME IDIOT BITCH NAMED SARA FROM FAIRBANKS CALLED INTO ART BELL'S PREDICTIONS SHOW THE 1ST NIGHT
AND ASKED "WHY CAN'T THEY INTEGRATE MAMMOGRAM TECHNOLOGY INTO THE AIRPORT NAKED SCREENING SCANS?"
IDIOT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST OFFER UP YOUR ANKLE FOR THEIR BRACELET AND RIDE PRISON BITCH STYLE THRU THE FRIENDLY SKIES.
THE PRECIOUS SANCTIFRIED SALUBRIOUS CHURCH WANTS CASH DONATIONS FOR OFFERINGS AND TITHES? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
The Irish Times - Tuesday, December 22, 2009
National Irish moves to cashless banking
PAUL CULLEN Consumer Affairs Correspondent
IT MIGHT sound like a contradiction in terms, but for the first time one of the main Irish consumer banks is moving to cashless banking in all its branches.
National Irish Bank has written to thousands of its customers this month informing them of a “new style of banking” in which branches will not handle over-the-counter cash transactions.
The letter says branches will no longer handle cash withdrawals and lodgements, night safe lodgements and foreign currency cash. Branches will continue to lodge cheques, drafts and postal orders and issue drafts.
Customers are advised to obtain cash from “ATMs nationwide” or to seek “cash-back” on their debit cards.
A spokesman confirmed that cashless banking was being introduced across the entire NIB branch network over the next 18 months, and had already been introduced successfully in a number of branches.
FUCK THE POPE AND HIS RABID CLOSETED FAGGOT HIERARCHY THAT WON'T LET WOMEN BE ORDAINED OR DIVORCED CATHOLICS REMARRY IN THEIR OH SO SACRED AND UNVIOLATED SANCTUARIES OR FOR THEIR PRIESTS TO HAVE WIVES
FUCK FOOTBALL AND DOGFIGHTING FOOTBALL PLAYER RAPISTS. ALL GODDAMN DAY TODAY
FUCK TEXAS. ALL OF IT
FUCK HOLLYWOOD, GET OVER YOURSELVES
AND MOST OF ALL FUCK THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND THEIR SATANIC BIOCHIP IMPLANTS
SOME IDIOT BITCH NAMED SARA FROM FAIRBANKS CALLED INTO ART BELL'S PREDICTIONS SHOW THE 1ST NIGHT
AND ASKED "WHY CAN'T THEY INTEGRATE MAMMOGRAM TECHNOLOGY INTO THE AIRPORT NAKED SCREENING SCANS?"
IDIOT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST OFFER UP YOUR ANKLE FOR THEIR BRACELET AND RIDE PRISON BITCH STYLE THRU THE FRIENDLY SKIES.
THE PRECIOUS SANCTIFRIED SALUBRIOUS CHURCH WANTS CASH DONATIONS FOR OFFERINGS AND TITHES? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
The Irish Times - Tuesday, December 22, 2009
National Irish moves to cashless banking
PAUL CULLEN Consumer Affairs Correspondent
IT MIGHT sound like a contradiction in terms, but for the first time one of the main Irish consumer banks is moving to cashless banking in all its branches.
National Irish Bank has written to thousands of its customers this month informing them of a “new style of banking” in which branches will not handle over-the-counter cash transactions.
The letter says branches will no longer handle cash withdrawals and lodgements, night safe lodgements and foreign currency cash. Branches will continue to lodge cheques, drafts and postal orders and issue drafts.
Customers are advised to obtain cash from “ATMs nationwide” or to seek “cash-back” on their debit cards.
A spokesman confirmed that cashless banking was being introduced across the entire NIB branch network over the next 18 months, and had already been introduced successfully in a number of branches.
#3
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Yeah fluffy, eat shit
Posted 01 January 2010 - 03:24 PM
When ya get done fuckin the pope, fuck israel, all of them.
fuck;
israel
texass
religion
everyone in the yakima area
israel
texass
religion
everyone in the yakima area
#4
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- Members
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- 25,771 posts
PROXY WHORE 1000! EVERYONE GET ON YOUR KNEES AND...
Posted 01 January 2010 - 03:27 PM
QUOTE (FUCK THE POPE @ Jan 1 2010, 02:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER THEN
FUCK THE POPE AND HIS RABID CLOSETED FAGGOT HIERARCHY THAT WON'T LET WOMEN BE ORDAINED OR DIVORCED CATHOLICS REMARRY IN THEIR OH SO SACRED AND UNVIOLATED SANCTUARIES OR FOR THEIR PRIESTS TO HAVE WIVES
FUCK FOOTBALL AND DOGFIGHTING FOOTBALL PLAYER RAPISTS. ALL GODDAMN DAY TODAY
FUCK TEXAS. ALL OF IT
FUCK HOLLYWOOD, GET OVER YOURSELVES
AND MOST OF ALL FUCK THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND THEIR SATANIC BIOCHIP IMPLANTS
SOME IDIOT BITCH NAMED SARA FROM FAIRBANKS CALLED INTO ART BELL'S PREDICTIONS SHOW THE 1ST NIGHT
AND ASKED "WHY CAN'T THEY INTEGRATE MAMMOGRAM TECHNOLOGY INTO THE AIRPORT NAKED SCREENING SCANS?"
IDIOT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST OFFER UP YOUR ANKLE FOR THEIR BRACELET AND RIDE PRISON BITCH STYLE THRU THE FRIENDLY SKIES.
THE PRECIOUS SANCTIFRIED SALUBRIOUS CHURCH WANTS CASH DONATIONS FOR OFFERINGS AND TITHES? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
The Irish Times - Tuesday, December 22, 2009
National Irish moves to cashless banking
PAUL CULLEN Consumer Affairs Correspondent
IT MIGHT sound like a contradiction in terms, but for the first time one of the main Irish consumer banks is moving to cashless banking in all its branches.
National Irish Bank has written to thousands of its customers this month informing them of a “new style of banking” in which branches will not handle over-the-counter cash transactions.
The letter says branches will no longer handle cash withdrawals and lodgements, night safe lodgements and foreign currency cash. Branches will continue to lodge cheques, drafts and postal orders and issue drafts.
Customers are advised to obtain cash from “ATMs nationwide” or to seek “cash-back” on their debit cards.
A spokesman confirmed that cashless banking was being introduced across the entire NIB branch network over the next 18 months, and had already been introduced successfully in a number of branches.
FUCK THE POPE AND HIS RABID CLOSETED FAGGOT HIERARCHY THAT WON'T LET WOMEN BE ORDAINED OR DIVORCED CATHOLICS REMARRY IN THEIR OH SO SACRED AND UNVIOLATED SANCTUARIES OR FOR THEIR PRIESTS TO HAVE WIVES
FUCK FOOTBALL AND DOGFIGHTING FOOTBALL PLAYER RAPISTS. ALL GODDAMN DAY TODAY
FUCK TEXAS. ALL OF IT
FUCK HOLLYWOOD, GET OVER YOURSELVES
AND MOST OF ALL FUCK THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND THEIR SATANIC BIOCHIP IMPLANTS
SOME IDIOT BITCH NAMED SARA FROM FAIRBANKS CALLED INTO ART BELL'S PREDICTIONS SHOW THE 1ST NIGHT
AND ASKED "WHY CAN'T THEY INTEGRATE MAMMOGRAM TECHNOLOGY INTO THE AIRPORT NAKED SCREENING SCANS?"
IDIOT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST OFFER UP YOUR ANKLE FOR THEIR BRACELET AND RIDE PRISON BITCH STYLE THRU THE FRIENDLY SKIES.
THE PRECIOUS SANCTIFRIED SALUBRIOUS CHURCH WANTS CASH DONATIONS FOR OFFERINGS AND TITHES? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
The Irish Times - Tuesday, December 22, 2009
National Irish moves to cashless banking
PAUL CULLEN Consumer Affairs Correspondent
IT MIGHT sound like a contradiction in terms, but for the first time one of the main Irish consumer banks is moving to cashless banking in all its branches.
National Irish Bank has written to thousands of its customers this month informing them of a “new style of banking” in which branches will not handle over-the-counter cash transactions.
The letter says branches will no longer handle cash withdrawals and lodgements, night safe lodgements and foreign currency cash. Branches will continue to lodge cheques, drafts and postal orders and issue drafts.
Customers are advised to obtain cash from “ATMs nationwide” or to seek “cash-back” on their debit cards.
A spokesman confirmed that cashless banking was being introduced across the entire NIB branch network over the next 18 months, and had already been introduced successfully in a number of branches.
Hey now!
QUOTE
SALUBRIOUS
I had to look that word up. Mel, quit making me have to think.
You should try it! You just might like it:
http://www.acidpulse.us
http://www.acidpulse.us
QUOTE
Even a broken clock is right twice a day!
~ guest#5 *FUCK THE POPE~
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- Guest
Posted 01 January 2010 - 04:20 PM
HERE'S SOME MORE BLASPHEMY FOR THE DAIL TO PONDER
I WILL SAY IT AS MY FAMILY NO LONGER CAN AS OF TODAY WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS
BUT THE FUCKING CATHOLIC CHURCH IS SPONSORING THIS SLIME TO HELP BOOST DONATION INTAKE. DOMINICANS, RICANS, GUATEMALANS
SINCE ALL THE WHITE PEEPS ARE DISGUSTED WITH CATHOLICISM AND ABANDONING IN DROVES IN THE LAST DECADE
WHO CAN FORGET THE SICKEST QUOTE OF ALL TIME HERE AT PWR?
"PARENTS SHOULD WATCH THEIR CHILDREN HAVING SEX AND CHILDREN SHOULD WATCH THEIR PARENTS HAVING SEX"
WELL, APPARENTLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH HIM. BUT THEY DON'T HAVE FEDERAL IMMUNITY FROM SEX CRIME PROSECUTION DO THEY?
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=617_1252006591
PROTECT YOUR ISLAND FROM THIS RABID DEPRAVITY OR YOU WILL END UP LIKE US
I WILL SAY IT AS MY FAMILY NO LONGER CAN AS OF TODAY WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS
BUT THE FUCKING CATHOLIC CHURCH IS SPONSORING THIS SLIME TO HELP BOOST DONATION INTAKE. DOMINICANS, RICANS, GUATEMALANS
SINCE ALL THE WHITE PEEPS ARE DISGUSTED WITH CATHOLICISM AND ABANDONING IN DROVES IN THE LAST DECADE
WHO CAN FORGET THE SICKEST QUOTE OF ALL TIME HERE AT PWR?
"PARENTS SHOULD WATCH THEIR CHILDREN HAVING SEX AND CHILDREN SHOULD WATCH THEIR PARENTS HAVING SEX"
WELL, APPARENTLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH HIM. BUT THEY DON'T HAVE FEDERAL IMMUNITY FROM SEX CRIME PROSECUTION DO THEY?
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=617_1252006591
PROTECT YOUR ISLAND FROM THIS RABID DEPRAVITY OR YOU WILL END UP LIKE US
#7 *Guest~
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- Guest
Posted 01 January 2010 - 04:27 PM
"PARENTS SHOULD WATCH THEIR CHILDREN HAVING SEX AND CHILDREN SHOULD WATCH THEIR PARENTS HAVING SEX"
who said that?
#9
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PROXY WHORE 1000! EVERYONE GET ON YOUR KNEES AND...
Posted 01 January 2010 - 04:32 PM
QUOTE (Guest @ Jan 1 2010, 03:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mel, are you a sedevacantist?
Damn you! Another word I had to look up!
You should try it! You just might like it:
http://www.acidpulse.us
http://www.acidpulse.us
QUOTE
Even a broken clock is right twice a day!
~ guest#10 *FUCK THE POPE~
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- Guest
Posted 01 January 2010 - 05:10 PM
MEL IS AN ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIAN
ASK THE AUXILLIARY BISHOP HERE WHO SAID THAT
IT WAS NOT ME. YOU WOULDN'T HEAR THAT PHRASE FROM MY LIPS
I HAD A CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR WITH A LOCK ON IT WHEN MY SON WAS YOUNG.
HE WAS TAUGHT TO KNOCK POLITELY.
MAYBE THESE FUCKS RAISED RAISED LIKE WOLFPUPS BY NAZI CATHOLIC SHEWOLVES THOUGHT IT WAS LIBERATED AND PROGRESSIVE
BUT THEN, I WAS NOT POTTY TRAINED WITH A GRADUATED SCREWDRIVER SET TO INSERT INTO MY ASSHOLE TO LOOSEN MY GAPE FOR MEN
FUCK THE BLASPHEME BAN
I WILL RANT ON THE CATHOLIC PEDOPHILES TILL THE COWS COME HOME
ASK THE AUXILLIARY BISHOP HERE WHO SAID THAT
IT WAS NOT ME. YOU WOULDN'T HEAR THAT PHRASE FROM MY LIPS
I HAD A CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR WITH A LOCK ON IT WHEN MY SON WAS YOUNG.
HE WAS TAUGHT TO KNOCK POLITELY.
MAYBE THESE FUCKS RAISED RAISED LIKE WOLFPUPS BY NAZI CATHOLIC SHEWOLVES THOUGHT IT WAS LIBERATED AND PROGRESSIVE
BUT THEN, I WAS NOT POTTY TRAINED WITH A GRADUATED SCREWDRIVER SET TO INSERT INTO MY ASSHOLE TO LOOSEN MY GAPE FOR MEN
FUCK THE BLASPHEME BAN
I WILL RANT ON THE CATHOLIC PEDOPHILES TILL THE COWS COME HOME
#11
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- Members
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- 608 posts
Yeah fluffy, eat shit
Posted 01 January 2010 - 05:14 PM
QUOTE (FUCK THE POPE @ Jan 1 2010, 05:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
MEL IS AN ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIAN
ASK THE AUXILLIARY BISHOP HERE WHO SAID THAT
IT WAS NOT ME. YOU WOULDN'T HEAR THAT PHRASE FROM MY LIPS
I HAD A CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR WITH A LOCK ON IT WHEN MY SON WAS YOUNG.
HE WAS TAUGHT TO KNOCK POLITELY.
MAYBE THESE FUCKS RAISED RAISED LIKE WOLFPUPS BY NAZI CATHOLIC SHEWOLVES THOUGHT IT WAS LIBERATED AND PROGRESSIVE
BUT THEN, I WAS NOT POTTY TRAINED WITH A GRADUATED SCREWDRIVER SET TO INSERT INTO MY ASSHOLE TO LOOSEN MY GAPE FOR MEN
FUCK THE BLASPHEME BAN
I WILL RANT ON THE CATHOLIC PEDOPHILES TILL THE COWS COME HOME
ASK THE AUXILLIARY BISHOP HERE WHO SAID THAT
IT WAS NOT ME. YOU WOULDN'T HEAR THAT PHRASE FROM MY LIPS
I HAD A CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR WITH A LOCK ON IT WHEN MY SON WAS YOUNG.
HE WAS TAUGHT TO KNOCK POLITELY.
MAYBE THESE FUCKS RAISED RAISED LIKE WOLFPUPS BY NAZI CATHOLIC SHEWOLVES THOUGHT IT WAS LIBERATED AND PROGRESSIVE
BUT THEN, I WAS NOT POTTY TRAINED WITH A GRADUATED SCREWDRIVER SET TO INSERT INTO MY ASSHOLE TO LOOSEN MY GAPE FOR MEN
FUCK THE BLASPHEME BAN
I WILL RANT ON THE CATHOLIC PEDOPHILES TILL THE COWS COME HOME
Don't mention cows around here, the texicans will get all wooded up.
Rave on.
fuck;
israel
texass
religion
everyone in the yakima area
israel
texass
religion
everyone in the yakima area
#12
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- Members
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- 22,679 posts
PROXY WHORE 1000! EVERYONE GET ON YOUR KNEES AND...
Posted 01 January 2010 - 05:33 PM
#13 *FUCK THE POPE~
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- Guest
Posted 02 January 2010 - 01:37 AM
AND BEFORE I FORGET, FUCK YOU COMIC SLIME THAT LIVES TO SLANDER OTHER HUMAN BEINGS FOR NO REASON AND HAVE NOT HARMED YOU
THIS IS THE MOST VILE THING I HAVE EVER READ DONE TO A MARRIED COUPLE. ITS JUST MORE HETERO BASHING
AND YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT SEX PERVERTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND WOULD BE INVOLVED AS WELL
Dick Vitale More Sexual During March Madness, Wife Lorraine Reports
BRISTOL, CT—Emerging from her husband's dressing room slightly out of breath and sporting nothing more than a silk robe and tousled hair, Lorraine Vitale, wife of iconic ESPN college basketball analyst Dick Vitale, told reporters Sunday that her spouse is at his sexual peak during March Madness.
"He's an animal," said Mrs. Vitale, adding that prior to her husband's appearance on ESPN's Selection Sunday special, the couple engaged in sexual intercourse three times in different locations, including once in a Bank of America ATM kiosk. "We fool around at other times during the year, of course, but once the conference tournaments start and the brackets are finalized, well, that's when the role-playing starts, the dirty talk gets louder, and 'the prime-time player' comes out of its velvet-lined case and gets fresh batteries."
"He's especially aggressive this year because Duke has a legitimate chance at making the Final Four," she added.
Lorraine, who has been married to Vitale for more than 35 years, said her husband uses certain erotic techniques only during March Madness, including the dipsy-doo dunkaroo; the super scintillating sensational slam-jam bam bam; the backdoor, baby; and the trifecta, which Lorraine would not describe in detail, but said involves the use of Mr. Vitale's index, thumb, and forefinger.
According to Mrs. Vitale, their lovemaking becomes longer and more intense as the NCAA tournament progresses—sometimes lasting well into the morning hours if her spouse has had a particularly heated exchange with fellow college basketball analyst Jay Bilas. She said that once the Sweet 16 is set, Mr. Vitale enjoys achieving orgasm by playing erotic games such as the "Cameron Crazy" and the "Diaper Dandy."
"That's what the baby bottle and diaper are for," she said.
But what her husband enjoys playing most, Mrs. Vitale noted, is "Duke vs. UNC," a game in which he dresses up as a Blue Devil, she wears a University of North Carolina cheerleader outfit, and, at the sound of an air horn, the two "go at it hard like two in-state rivals."
Mrs. Vitale would not confirm rumors that ESPN analyst Digger Phelps sometimes participates while dressed as Wake Forest's "Demon Deacon" mascot.
"When the Final Four comes around, Dick is so sexually charged that he's pretty much into everything," said the mother of two, who admitted that it was disturbing at first to watch her husband stand stark naked in their kitchen, a ball gag muffling his screams of "It's awesome, baby," but that the practice had grown on her. "And I'll admit that it's a little weird when he shouts out 'Krzyzewski' at the moment of climax, but believe me, it's worth it. I have so many orgasms that it doesn't matter."
"Quite frankly the month of March has given our marriage the kind of excitement other couples only dream of," she continued. "Every woman deserves to experience, just once, the type of arousal I feel when my husband and I join together in the slap-a-lapp-anapper."
The Vitales' odd and oftentimes graphic lascivious behavior began in March 1983, when the two spontaneously made love on Testudo, an oversized bronze statue of a diamondback terrapin turtle that sits outside the University of Maryland library. It was at that point that Lorraine Vitale said she knew something carnal had taken over her husband.
"It was after a pretty close game with a tournament spot on the line. We were walking through campus, and Dick whispered to me, 'The students rub [the turtle] for luck, so let's get really lucky tonight,'" she said. "I'll never forget it. The torn-off underwear, the cool bronze against my knees, and Dick's hot body on my back thrusting, thrusting, thrusting…. Excuse me, I need a drink of water."
"Hey, Lorraine, come on," Dick Vitale could be heard saying from inside his dressing room. "I want to try this cream that Bob [Knight] and Karen [Knight] use."
Before reentering the dressing room, Mrs. Vitale confirmed what everyone had already assumed to be true: that immediately after the NCAA championship game Dick Vitale ejaculates one last time, rolls over, and sleeps through the entire month of April.
THIS IS THE MOST VILE THING I HAVE EVER READ DONE TO A MARRIED COUPLE. ITS JUST MORE HETERO BASHING
AND YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT SEX PERVERTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND WOULD BE INVOLVED AS WELL
Dick Vitale More Sexual During March Madness, Wife Lorraine Reports
BRISTOL, CT—Emerging from her husband's dressing room slightly out of breath and sporting nothing more than a silk robe and tousled hair, Lorraine Vitale, wife of iconic ESPN college basketball analyst Dick Vitale, told reporters Sunday that her spouse is at his sexual peak during March Madness.
"He's an animal," said Mrs. Vitale, adding that prior to her husband's appearance on ESPN's Selection Sunday special, the couple engaged in sexual intercourse three times in different locations, including once in a Bank of America ATM kiosk. "We fool around at other times during the year, of course, but once the conference tournaments start and the brackets are finalized, well, that's when the role-playing starts, the dirty talk gets louder, and 'the prime-time player' comes out of its velvet-lined case and gets fresh batteries."
"He's especially aggressive this year because Duke has a legitimate chance at making the Final Four," she added.
Lorraine, who has been married to Vitale for more than 35 years, said her husband uses certain erotic techniques only during March Madness, including the dipsy-doo dunkaroo; the super scintillating sensational slam-jam bam bam; the backdoor, baby; and the trifecta, which Lorraine would not describe in detail, but said involves the use of Mr. Vitale's index, thumb, and forefinger.
According to Mrs. Vitale, their lovemaking becomes longer and more intense as the NCAA tournament progresses—sometimes lasting well into the morning hours if her spouse has had a particularly heated exchange with fellow college basketball analyst Jay Bilas. She said that once the Sweet 16 is set, Mr. Vitale enjoys achieving orgasm by playing erotic games such as the "Cameron Crazy" and the "Diaper Dandy."
"That's what the baby bottle and diaper are for," she said.
But what her husband enjoys playing most, Mrs. Vitale noted, is "Duke vs. UNC," a game in which he dresses up as a Blue Devil, she wears a University of North Carolina cheerleader outfit, and, at the sound of an air horn, the two "go at it hard like two in-state rivals."
Mrs. Vitale would not confirm rumors that ESPN analyst Digger Phelps sometimes participates while dressed as Wake Forest's "Demon Deacon" mascot.
"When the Final Four comes around, Dick is so sexually charged that he's pretty much into everything," said the mother of two, who admitted that it was disturbing at first to watch her husband stand stark naked in their kitchen, a ball gag muffling his screams of "It's awesome, baby," but that the practice had grown on her. "And I'll admit that it's a little weird when he shouts out 'Krzyzewski' at the moment of climax, but believe me, it's worth it. I have so many orgasms that it doesn't matter."
"Quite frankly the month of March has given our marriage the kind of excitement other couples only dream of," she continued. "Every woman deserves to experience, just once, the type of arousal I feel when my husband and I join together in the slap-a-lapp-anapper."
The Vitales' odd and oftentimes graphic lascivious behavior began in March 1983, when the two spontaneously made love on Testudo, an oversized bronze statue of a diamondback terrapin turtle that sits outside the University of Maryland library. It was at that point that Lorraine Vitale said she knew something carnal had taken over her husband.
"It was after a pretty close game with a tournament spot on the line. We were walking through campus, and Dick whispered to me, 'The students rub [the turtle] for luck, so let's get really lucky tonight,'" she said. "I'll never forget it. The torn-off underwear, the cool bronze against my knees, and Dick's hot body on my back thrusting, thrusting, thrusting…. Excuse me, I need a drink of water."
"Hey, Lorraine, come on," Dick Vitale could be heard saying from inside his dressing room. "I want to try this cream that Bob [Knight] and Karen [Knight] use."
Before reentering the dressing room, Mrs. Vitale confirmed what everyone had already assumed to be true: that immediately after the NCAA championship game Dick Vitale ejaculates one last time, rolls over, and sleeps through the entire month of April.
#14 *FUCK THE POPE~
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- Guest
Posted 02 January 2010 - 01:42 AM
DID YOU BOTHER TO WATCH THE VIDEO OFF LIVELEAK WITH THE 7 TO 10 YR OLDS AT THE BIRTHDAY PARTY 'DAGGERING THE GIRLS DANCE'?
I BET YOU DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THOSE FUCKING SPANISH SPEAKIN GETTIN THEIR FREAKON WITH THE KIDS ASS, NEVER MISS A MASS.
DOMINICAN REPUBLICANS ARE THEY?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TEACHING THE BOYS TO PLAY SANDLOT BASEBALL FER CRISSAKE
YEAH
THE FUCKER WHO SAID PARENTS SHOULD *WATCH* CHILDREN HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER
PROLLY NEVER DREAMED THAT SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT AS AN ORGANIZED SPORT AND SOCIAL GATHERING EVENT
HAD ENOUGH YET?
OR DO YOU NEED SOME MORE BLASPHEMY FROM MY BIG MOUTH?
I BET YOU DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THOSE FUCKING SPANISH SPEAKIN GETTIN THEIR FREAKON WITH THE KIDS ASS, NEVER MISS A MASS.
DOMINICAN REPUBLICANS ARE THEY?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TEACHING THE BOYS TO PLAY SANDLOT BASEBALL FER CRISSAKE
YEAH
THE FUCKER WHO SAID PARENTS SHOULD *WATCH* CHILDREN HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER
PROLLY NEVER DREAMED THAT SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT AS AN ORGANIZED SPORT AND SOCIAL GATHERING EVENT
HAD ENOUGH YET?
OR DO YOU NEED SOME MORE BLASPHEMY FROM MY BIG MOUTH?
#15 *FUCK THE POPE~
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- Guest
Posted 02 January 2010 - 01:51 AM
THE DICK AND LORRAINE VITALE PIECE WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING PIECE OF COMIC WRITING I READ THIS YEAR IN THE ONION
SNL PUSHED THE LIMITS OF GOOD TASTE ALSO
SOME OF YOU CRACK SMOKIN POPES HAVE LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS ABOUT WHAT IS FUNNY AND WHAT IS JUST HYENAS EATING A CARCASS
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK THERE IN 2010 SO WE CAN ALL BE PROUD
MAY THERE BE MORE LIVE LEAK VIDEOS EVEN WORSE THAN THAT AFROLATIN HYMEN BUSTING BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR TWEENS
SOON. REAL SOON. NOW.
SNL PUSHED THE LIMITS OF GOOD TASTE ALSO
SOME OF YOU CRACK SMOKIN POPES HAVE LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS ABOUT WHAT IS FUNNY AND WHAT IS JUST HYENAS EATING A CARCASS
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK THERE IN 2010 SO WE CAN ALL BE PROUD
MAY THERE BE MORE LIVE LEAK VIDEOS EVEN WORSE THAN THAT AFROLATIN HYMEN BUSTING BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR TWEENS
SOON. REAL SOON. NOW.
